Casual Fridays were instituted by companies trying to raise the morale of its employees and hopefully boost productivity. I have a better idea! Instead of casual Fridays we should have casual Mondays!

Think about it...

Mondays can ruin your entire weekend!

Sundays are basically ruined because the day is spent in lamenting the fact that you have to go back to work on Monday. (Since this can actually start as early as Saturday, your entire weekend may be ruined!) The latter part of the day is also spent getting ready for Monday. If companies had casual Monday, then the ironing of blouses, skirts, shirts, and pants could wait for a weekday. This way, you can sit and relax on Sunday and watch Carnivale! Mondays would not be as stressful, and let’s face it, Fridays are not stressful at all! Fridays already have the privilege of being considered a weekend and how many people really do all that much work on Friday anyway!

I vote for Casual Monday! Friday already has its own distinction and even has its own saying... TgiF! It even got a restaurant named after it! Let’s give Mondays a better reputation.

Presidents, CEOs, and bosses everywhere... get rid of the Monday blahs, raise productivity, and really boost morale; institute casual Mondays! I will think about how to lift morale for Tuesdays later. Also, while you’re at it, don’t forget the Krispy Kreme donuts!

"Mondays are not part of the productive work week".
~ Dogbert

 
Every year, around this time, we have, what I call, a “Winnie the Pooh” day... a “blustery” day. There is something about nature’s strong winds that I look forward to year after year. After most of the leaves have fallen from the trees, the lawn looks beautiful and I ask the landscaper to wait until the fallen leaves lose their brightness and start to dry before he comes to clean our yard. By that time, I know that most of the leaves will be blown away by the blustery winds of a day in November.

Where do these leaves go? Some poor person’s yard, I suppose. Someone who ends up having to rake their own lawn. We have a landscaper that comes to do our yard work, but by this time, his job is minimal since Mother Nature did the brunt of the work for him. I wonder if the person that ends up with all the blown leaves on his yard likes days like today?

As I write this, it is a bright, sunny day and the winds are blowing the branches of the trees against the house. Most of the leaves have left my lawn and are being blown down the street. Some are pelting on the windows and seem to be performing a wind ballet just for me. The roar of the wind sounds like waves crashing against ocean rocks and is quite soothing to me but is frightening the cockatiel. I have to close the curtain to the window which he sees out of in order that he can stop his nervous twittering.

The gusts of wind will calm down, as will our cockatiel. In the meantime, I will walk outside among the now bare trees and breathe in the cold air and feel the wind sneaking through my jacket. I will promptly run back indoors, grateful for the warmth, and make a cup of coffee and sip it while I sit by the window and enjoy this blustery day. Mother Nature is setting the scene for future natural wonders... snow. I am ready!

"Blustery days should be avoided by Very Small Animals."
~Piglet

 
My favorite time of the year is here. I love autumn. I love the color. I love the chill in the air and the prospect of a hot cup of cocoa. I love winter. I love the preparation for all the holidays beginning with Halloween and ending with the New Year celebration. I love the family and friends get-togethers. I love the traditions.

My daughter and her best friend, Alicia, started their own tradition of trick or treating together since they were seven years old. This year marked a milestone as they went by themselves and collected their usual six pounds of candy. The weather was perfect; a lovely 62?, the warmest Halloween I can remember.

For Thanksgiving, my sister Connie and her children come to my house for dinner. I will host dinner this year again after not cooking the previous two years. My dearest friends, Jeanette and Joe, will also come with their son, Andrew. The day will start with putting the turkey in the oven and turning on the television for the Thanksgiving Day parade, something that has been done in my family since I was a little girl.

Two years ago we took our daughter to see the parade in person and the complaint was that it was not the same, that watching it on television was better. The funny thing is, she really does not sit and watch it, it is just turned on and is just there as a background entertainment.

I will serve all the traditional foods, recipes passed on from my mother. A curious thing is that some of the dishes I prepare are not a favorite of someone or another. My daughter, for example, does not like stuffing! We must have stuffing! My husband does not like the creamed onions or the noodles with cabbage! We must have those too. My niece, Cristina, does not like pumpkin pie! Got to have the pumpkin pie! Joe, if you can believe it, really does not like turkey! He will nibble a piece since it is a traditional part of the holiday. We must have a turkey!

There simply are some dishes that have to be made even if nobody eats them because somehow the holiday would not feel right.

Christmas is a time of many traditions in many families. Last year we went to dinner at another dear friends’ home for their traditional Italian Christmas Eve seafood dinner. Annette’s mother brought her Bacala salad (a cold cod fish salad). Though no one in her family eats it, not even herself, it is a dish that must be present at the dinner table. Without it, the holiday would simply not be the same in their family.

As we do every year, my daughter and I will decorate the trees. We have more than one. My husband has his own Star Wars tree. The other ones have decorations that my daughter and I have made throughout the years. We will try and bake cookies again this year and start a new tradition.

The New Year begins with the families coming to my home for dinner. We stay up and toast the New Year and then the fun begins. It is one of the children’s favorite day, next to Christmas, of course. For several years, we have kept our tradition of staying up til the wee hours in the morning playing Pictionary with my sister, her kids, and my husband’s brother, Louie. We all have the best time and begin the year with peels of laughter and family time.

Ok, there is one tradition that everyone will agree can be stopped.... no more fruit cakes!

I love this time of year!

“Traditions are the guideposts driven deep in our subconscious minds. The most powerful ones are those we can't even describe and aren't even aware of.”
~Ellen Goodman

 
I think it is very funny that people write to advice columnists and start their letter something like this...

Dear Advice Columnist:
I am engaged to a wonderful person who is caring, loving, respectful, funny, and smart. However..... Or...

Dear Advice Columnist:
I am to be married to the most wonderful person in the world. She/he is the best thing that ever happened to me, but...

I am sorry, but if you have to write for advice about someone so wonderful and there is a “but”, why are you still engaged? Halt all plans for the wedding!

I cannot believe the “buts” that follow the description of this wonderful human being.

...but he is 42 years old and still lives at home with his mother and she doesn’t like me. What should I do?

...but she has a very bad spending habit and shops, shops, shops. Should we move to a house with bigger closets?

...but when he drinks he gets out of control and has hit me. He apologizes when he’s sober and promises not to do it again. Should I believe him?

...but he has the worst manners ever and my friends do not like him. What should I do to my friends?

I have read this kind of question many times. I do not get it. If I had my own advice column I would have a list of FAQs. The first one would be regarding the “but”.

FAQ 1. If your question has a “but” after the description of how wonderful your betrothed is, DO NOT MARRY HIM/HER!

I can hear these people after they have been married for a year or two... "If only someone had advised me not to marry."

“Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it.”
~Edna St. Vincent Millay

 
Amendment I:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
~Bill of Rights

If I did not enjoy reading as much as I do, there would be one way to get me to read a book.... ban it.

A couple of weeks ago, a high school on Long Island banned a book. My first reaction was to go straight to Border’s and read what was so objectionable. (My library does not have it... yet.) The book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, is actually a coming-of-age book; the story of a fifteen year old high schooler. I read the first couple of chapters and found the book quite inoffensive... but then, I have a high tolerance for subjects others may find offensive. I, actually, do not offend easily, if at all.

I do have strong opinions of things and accept that people have the same. My feelings are that if you impose your opinion on someone, you have to be amenable to having another opinion imposed on you. That, unfortunately, has not been my experience. I find that people who offend the easiest are the ones who offend because their opinions are not accepted.

So if I know that a book is being banned, my curiosity is piqued. If the story sounds interesting enough, I will read it. If not, no offense taken and I do not bother with it.

I ended up purchasing the book. I will encourage both my husband and my daughter to read it. It may not have been the school’s intention to bring notoriety to the author of this “objectionable” book, but alas, there is no such thing as bad publicity. In my opinion, “Perks” has now joined the ranks of other works of literature that have been banned throughout time, such as The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, A Wrinkle in Time, Bridge to Terabithia, Leaves of Grass, and many, many others, including The Bible! Yes, The Bible was banned in the Soviet Union for twenty-five years. I wonder how many people that object to Perks find The Bible objectionable.

Hmm. I wonder if I can someday write a book and get it banned by a school?

“Every burned book enlightens the world.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
Usually, when my daughter or I see a delivery truck stop in front of our house, we shout up to my husband to come and sign for his package. Today was no exception. When FedEx pulled up, we called to him. This time he did not rush down. I did think it strange that he did not run to the door since I knew he was expecting some books. As I walked over to open the door, my daughter just said, “Mom, the package is for you.”

Hmm. For me? I did not order anything. No sheet music. No school books. Not even an order from eBay.

This “autumnal” bouquet of roses was from my husband. The note said, “Just because I love you.” Aww! No wonder he did not run down the stairs to open the door!

Last week we received a beautiful bouquet of flowers as well. Those were from the parents of our English guest thanking us for our hospitality.

I love flowers but I love them when they come from someone special. I do not personally know Lee’s parents, but I can say... it was a pleasure having her here and it was a special having known her.

Receiving today’s roses was precious to me. Though it was not my husband’s intention, he brought tears to my eyes. Both he and my daughter have a way of doing that.

To you, Ubby: Thank you so much for the roses. I love them but I love you even more! It has been eighteen years, two months, nine days, eight hours, and two minutes of a wonderful time in my life!

“Flowers are the sweetest things that God ever made and forgot to put a soul into.”
~Henry Ward Beckford

 
Some things you just cannot make up...

My friend Liz asked me, on Instant Messenger, to check if I could get into Ebay.com. I was able to, though she was unable to see anything but code. While she tried to fix the problem on her end, I checked out the page and at the bottom was a list of “Featured Items”.

This caught my eye: “Lose 95 lbs by Nov Guaranteed”.

By November? Hmm. That would be nine days from today. Lose ninety-five pounds by then? How?

Sadly, I think I figured it out... someone will come to your house and amputate parts of your body, most probably your limbs. It has to be the answer! Certainly starving yourself isn’t going to make a dent in weight loss... in nine days!

I mentioned that to Liz. Then I thought, what if you already weigh ninety-five pounds?

Then I saw this... “Lose 95 lbs by Dec Guaranteed”.

Oh, much better! They must have realized their mistake!

"Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it."
~Stephen Butler Leacock

 
My husband and I were married four years before we had our daughter and had never taken a separate vacation, nor a business trip, alone until our daughter was eight months old. At that time, the company my husband worked for was sending many of their employees to Australia in shifts of two weeks. We were to be separated for how long? But he had to go and he wanted his new family with him. I, on the other hand, was not thrilled with taking our baby on a twenty-two hour flight to a different time zone for just fourteen days. So we compromised; we both flew to California, first for a two-week vacation and then he took his flight to Australia and I stayed with my sister in Hayward. After all, it was only going to be for two weeks.

Two weeks later he was convincing me to fly Down Under because the company had extended everyone’s stay for an indefinite time and he wanted us with him. No more missing us. We also both felt quite sad that our daughter learned to walk on the very day she turned ten months old and he missed her first steps.

The first month and a half in Melbourne were quite upsetting for me. My baby developed severe “nappy” rash because she was allergic to the baby food and the chemicals in the diapers. I was unable to make her food so she had to eat pre-made baby food . We were living in a tiny apartment with a tiny crib that barely fit in the bedroom. Though the Australian people were, and are, some of the friendliest in the world, I was miserable and did not want for my daughter to celebrate her first birthday in a different country without any family members present. We flew home. I was determined not to go back.

But I did go back. My husband’s bosses promised to send diapers from the United States and also set us up in a wonderful two-bedroom apartment. They actually paid $180 to ship a package of eighty-eight diapers each time!

I used to take long walks with my daughter along the Yarra River in Melbourne. Everyone would constantly stop us and hold conversations with me just to hear my accent! How funny was that! Me! An accent!

I learned all the Australian terminology for things: flat, cooker, pram, nappy, capsicum, fillets, g’day mate, billabong, joey, and others. The thing was that living in Australia was not that much different than living in the United States. Both countries are about the same age and the city was as modern as any in the United States; smaller, but just as cosmopolitan. When it was time to go back, in November, I was not happy about it. We had adjusted to everything and had many friends.

I always remember living in Australia with much fondness. We purchased a bottle of wine that we were told would not be ready for drinking until the year 2008. I cannot believe there are only four years left!

We have not gone back since. My daughter only has pictures of her feeding kangaroos as proof that she was ever there.. that, and her stamped passport.

"All travel has its advantages. If the passenger visits better countries, he may learn to improve his own. And if fortune carries him to worse, he may learn to enjoy it."
~Samuel Johnson

 
This weekend we had a guest staying with us. Lee was stopping in New York for a couple of days before her trip back home to England. She had been here with a special program that sends European students to “America” as camp counselors. Camp is where she met Liz, our dear friend in Indiana who mentioned that Lee was coming to New York. I then offered our home and touring services to her.

So that is how we spent our weekend. It started with her arrival Friday evening. I prepared dinner and invited our friend, Matt. Dinner was good, but the conversation was wonderful. We all laughed quite a bit.

On Saturday, my daughter and I took her for a tour of the city. My husband was nice enough and drove us. Lee wanted to visit the Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero, (gosh, I hate that name), and the Empire State Building. The weather was perfect and was noticed by several thousand other tourists who in turn were in the same places we were. That meant, sadly, that we spent a couple of hours just doing what I call the “Disney World thing”... waiting in long lines. One hour's wait to pass through security just to board the ferry to the Statue and one hour to get on the elevator up to the Observation Deck of the Empire State Building! Had it not been for the time spent in a queue, we could have taken Lee to visit Times Square and the Rockefeller Center area.

She did, however, have a hotdog from a street vendor. You cannot go to New York City and leave without having a vendor prairie dog... I mean hotdog! We also went to Lindy's and had cheesecake. Not the same, or as good as, Junior’s cheesecake, but more famous. After a full day of touring and plenty of walking, we were grateful that my husband drove back to the city to pick us up.

Sunday was malling day. I had to take Lee to “the” mall... Roosevelt Field. That is the biggest mall on Long Island so, of course, that involved more walking. I do not like shopping, but this was not really shopping.... it was touring. In other words, I had a nice time. Lee is a funny girl and had my daughter and I laughing a lot. It was a nice way to pass the time. Matt came over that evening and we again had a wonderful time talking and watching Life of Brian a Monty Python movie, and other Monty Python television episodes.

Unfortunately, her stay with us ended yesterday. I drove her to the airport. We hope she will come back for a longer visit. There are many more places to visit and foods to eat.

It is always sad having to say goodbye to someone you end up caring for. I am glad she did stay with us, even for a very short time. Since I am the official collector of memories, I came out with quite a few. We are now a bit richer for having known her and having shared happy times with her.

“Today's special moments are tomorrow's precious memories.”
~Unknown

 
I awoke this morning to a barrage of sneezing. I had not had my eyes open for more than five seconds and I was already reaching for a tissue. This is my life once allergy season begins in September.

All of a sudden I wondered, why don’t I sneeze while I am sleeping? All my life I have had these allergies and just this morning my curiosity got the better of me. I wondered at what point of the day does my brain tell my nose “no more sneezing for today”. I know that when I have a cold or the flu, a cough wakes me up, or even keeps me from falling asleep, but I have never been kept awake or woken up by a sneezing fit.

Well, I did find the reason by going online. I do that a lot; always have. Once, when my daughter was three years old, while on a walk around the block, we happened upon a swarm of ants. We stopped to watch them carrying food items to their nest. She then asked me if ants had teeth. Not being quite comfortable with the internet back then (dial-up, you know), we took a trip to the library to look it up. It is what I do and always have.

So why don’t we sneeze while we are asleep? Here is a very nice answer to this question, if you want to know:

Sneezing is a protective reflex in response to a stimulus in the nasal mucosa. The stimulus has to reach the brainstem center before the brain's neurons trigger a response via neurotransmitters. During sleep, especially in REM sleep, the activity of many of the brain's systems declines and the reflex arc is not completed because the neurotransmitters are not activated. So sneezing doesn't occur despite the stimulus.
(Thanks to NewScientist.com)

Now I want to know why is it that I get sneezing fits while I am driving? Hmm!

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”
~Albert Einstein

PS Ants, as all insects, have a mouthpart called mandible which cut and crush the food. Only vertebrates have teeth as we know them. :)

 
Yesterday I caught one of my favorite movies on HBO... Steel Magnolias. It was already half over and close to the famous part: the funeral scene. Even though I knew what was going to happen, I could not help it and I cried... and I laughed. To me, this scene is one of the most memorable scenes in moviedom and all the actors were wonderful.

I love this movie for the memorable quotes and quips throughout. I love a movie that can make me laugh and I love a movie that can make me cry. This one hits a homerun on both. But I also have a beautiful memory associated with it.. the first time I saw it.

My husband and I were flying back to Australia with our one year old daughter. As always, she behaved so quietly that no one even knew there was a baby on board. She sat on our laps, taking turns going from my lap to her dad’s. We were able to enjoy the movie since she entertained herself with assorted toys.... until the scenes when Julia Roberts’ character, Shelby, is dying. It is then that my daughter decided to stand on my husband’s lap and play with his glasses and nose. She was actually trying to bite his nose during the funeral scene! So we were all crying. I could hear the sobs from everyone on the plane. My daughter was giggling just trying to reach for her father’s nose. Luckily, the funny part came along just in time as she got a nip and my husband had to laugh at both her and the scene in the movie. The timing was perfect!

To this date, I cannot watch that movie without remembering the nose biting attempt. I cannot decide whether I love the memory of the nose biting because I was watching the movie or whether I love the movie because of the memory. In either case, I am left with a warm feeling in my heart.

"Laughter, through tears is my favorite emotion."
~Truvy (Dolly Parton) in Steel Magnolias

"I love these little people, and it is not a slight thing, when they, who are so fresh from God, love us."
~Charles Dickens

 
Wow! I have not blogged in over four months!

Well, summer vacation is over and it is back to the regular routine of teaching, driving from place to place, catching up with reading my e-mail, and blogging.

I want to start by saying... I really dislike telemarketers. Well, I do not “personally” dislike them, I just dislike that the job even exists. Although.... this past Friday, I received a call from one telemarketer and she may be the first one I personally dislike. Here is why...

Ring ring...
Me: Hello..
TM: Hello, can I speak to Mr Va... Va... Va-say-oh?
Me: That’s VAL - CAR - CEL...
TM: Whatever...
click

Yes, I hung up. “Whatever”? What was that all about?

I did not think it worth my while to find out. People that know me know that I have an allergy to that word. We do not use it in my home under the penalty of having liver and onions for dinner.

That telemarketer may have been having a bad day with people not buying anything she may have been selling and I may have just pushed her over the edge by politely pronouncing my last name to her, but you know what? Whatever!

“Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength."
~Eric Hoffer

 
Okay. How much trouble is it, really, to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? You open the jars, spread the peanut butter on one slice and the jelly on the other. You join the two slices of bread... voilá! It has to be the easiest sandwich to make.

The other day I was walking around Costco and someone was handing out samples of a new product.... pre-made peanut butter and jelly crustless sandwiches! Is it that time- consuming to make the sandwich? To cut the crust off the bread? Can making the sandwich take such a chunk out of your busy schedule that we are to thank the sandwich gods that someone finally invented the pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I thought we had hit bottom with instant mashed potatoes!

My husband always says, “Find a way to make life easier and simpler for lazy Americans and you will become rich.” Well, who’da thunk it! Simplify the easiest sandwich! Smucker’s must have seen a need for this because you can buy the box at your local supermarket. And before you ask... No, I am NOT getting paid by the company!

Miss Piggy must be delighted with this new invention. She is the one that said that she prefers Hostess fruit pies to Pop-Tarts because there is less cooking involved.

Pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It is crazy, but I wish I had thought of it!

I, personally, don’t buy these pre-made meals. I love to cook and have tried many of Emeril’s recipes. If you are the type of person to stock the pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in your home, you will probably not know who Emeril is and probably don't care.

I wonder who makes more money; Smucker’s, with their time saving invention, or Emeril, with his line of cooking pots and pans, and spices?

I know where I’m spending my money!

“The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.”
~W.C. Fields

 
Some people have to watch out for the foot that lives in their mouth.

Background: My husband lost his brother, William, in the World Trade Center attack on September 11. William is survived by two brothers and one sister, Silvia.

True story: Did not happen to me, but to my sister-in-law, Silvia, in Florida....

Silvia was at the beauty parlor she owns with her sister-in-law and was talking about how she was against the United States going to war with Iraq. There was this lady who was worshiping Bush and commenting on how she was all for the war because of the fight against terrorism. The lady was quite upset with Silvia and said, “Well, you’d be singing a different tune if you had lost someone at the World Trade Center on 9/11!”

Well, now.......

“Fools are wise until they speak.”
~Randle Cotgrave

 
My husband and I wanted to celebrate our first wedding anniversary in our favorite place at the time... Lancaster, Pennsylvania. We wanted to experience the simple life as close as possible to locals, and short of staying with the Amish, which would not have happened, I knew we would have to find a Mennonite home.

I got a list of Mennonite families that lived on farms and that had a bed and breakfast. I called most of them and my first questions were: 1) Do you have a television in the room, 2) Do you have cable, and, 3) Do you have air conditioning? If any of the questions was answered in the positive, the place was not for us. Those were modern conveniences we did not want.

On the umpteenth call where someone actually picked up, (I hung up if I had to leave a message on an answering machine), I spoke to a Mr. Luke Hess. Not only did they live on a farm, but they had no television in the room and definitely no cable. They also had no air conditioning, though it being August might have been something to look forward to, but not for us.

We arrived at the farm. It was secluded, and was an actual working pig farm. They also had a garden where they grew most of their food. The customary horse and dogs were on the property as well. It was wonderful!

The Hesses were wonderful and introduced us to their family of four children; Lucille, then 15, Delbert, 12, Doretta, 9, and Doug 6. We also met their parents, were invited to a Mennonite service, and ate freshly made sticky buns and Shoefly Pie, two classic Pennsylvania Dutch “must have” goods. The Hesses quickly became dear friends. Our first wedding anniversary was made extra memorable because of them.

We visited and stayed with them every weekend for one year while we house hunted in Lancaster. Our friendship with them and the Mennonite community deepened. When we bought a house in Long Island instead, it was sad to think how much we would miss Lancaster and it’s friendly people, especially Luke and Dot and family.

It has been seventeen years since we first met the Hess family. Last Saturday, April 12th, we attended the wedding of Delbert to Katie Curtis. This was the third Hess wedding to which we had been invited. Ten years ago we were invited to Lucille’s wedding to Dave Metzler. They now have two children, Kira, age 6, and Micah, almost one. Almost four years ago we went to Doretta’s wedding to Bill Giersch. Doug, who is now 23 years old, has a steady girlfriend. They have all grown up and are a strikingly handsome family. It is always such a wonderful experience visiting with such dear friends, that despite the fact that we do not see each other often, we are still close to them and they to us. One day I suspect that the entire Hess family will attend the wedding of our daughter whom they have known since she was a baby. It will be an honor for us.

Almost seventeen years ago we met the Hess family. Their sincere and warm friendship was the best anniversary present ever.

"A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure."
~Sirach 6:14

 
I drink coffee for the taste, not for the pick-me-up feeling. I started drinking coffee when I was fourteen, for medicinal purposes back then. I drink it now for the love of it. Medicinal purposes, you may ask? Those of you who have suffered from migraines know that sometimes a good, strong cup of coffee may relieve the pain.

I have many treasured memories that involve coffee. The one that comes to mind now is when my daughter was a baby, about six months. I put her in the playpen that I kept in the kitchen. I sat at the table to sip my coffee, decaf, of course, since I was nursing. My baby walked over to my side and standing on tippy-toes, holding on to the end of the playpen, she started opening her mouth in order that I give her some of what I had. With her baby spoon I took a small amount of my coffee and gave it to her. She drank it and started to nod her head in approval. “Ma, ma” meant “more, more” so I gave her a bit more. The nod, again, this time accompanied by the smacking of her lips. A true connoisseur!

Other memories are when my daughter was taking music lessons, my husband and I would spend an hour every week at Starbucks just enjoying each others company. We really looked forward to her music lessons so we could share an hour together and drink our coffee.

That’s when I realized how pouty I am about my coffee. I once ordered my favorite, a latté, and what I got was a cup full of warm foam! For three dollars and seventy five cents I wanted a latté! It took a while to remember to ask for my latté the way I like it: Double shot, decaf, extra hot, no foam, tall latté!

My grandparents were coffee drinkers. My father was a coffee drinker. They all loved their coffee scalding hot too. My husband was not a coffee drinker when we started going out. I managed to convert him. My daughter enjoys a sip from my cup every now and then, memories in the making. My sister, Bertha, and I love to sit and drink our morning brew and just chat. In college, we would cut the first class just to go and have coffee and a donut in the corner donut shop of our neighborhood.

Coffee is such a social event. The highlight of a dinner party is dessert accompanied with good, strong cup coffee. That is when the conversation gets good. That is when most memories are made.

I love coffee. I love the many moments shared with great friends and family and a pot of freshly brewed coffee. I drink it now for the love of it, but I keep my eyes open for that special memory.

"If you'll excuse me a minute, I'm going to have a cup of coffee."
~Broadcast from Apollo 11's LEM, Eagle, to Johnson Space Center, Houston (July 20, 1969).

 
The problem with being invited to a wedding is that you need to wear something nice and undoubtedly, you need to buy a new outfit. The problem gets worse if you do not like shopping to begin with and wait for the last minute to do so.

I waited until the day before the wedding to buy a dress for myself and my daughter. She was the easy one; we found a dress quickly and painlessly. I, on the other hand, was not so lucky.

Finding the dress was the easy part; having to try it on was a different story, and the reason I despise shopping, the reason I wait to the last minute. This is what I was submitted to in the fitting room: (to be read with the heaviest “Lawng” Island accent imaginable!)

“Oh, my gaaaaaaaawd, Staceyyyyyyyyyyy! That dress looks gawrgeous on you! Oh, my gawd! You look like a model! That dress is sooooo you! Oh, my gawd! Oh, you should definitely buy that dress! Oh, my gawd! It is perfect! ...... Now the only thing you need are boobs! But that is easy.... you can buy those! Cause that dress needs you to have boobs! But, oh my gawd! You look like a model, Stacey!”

Now if that is not a deterrent to go shopping, I do not know what is!

We have another wedding to attend in July. No one from the wedding we went to this past Saturday, in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, will be in the wedding this July. Maybe I can get away with wearing the same outfit.

“It pains me physically to see a woman victimized, rendered pathetic, by fashion.”
~Yves Saint-Laurent

 
SPRING n. a time or season of growth or development; specifically: the season between winter and summer comprising in the northern hemisphere usually the months of March, April, and May or as reckoned astronomically extending from the March equinox to the June solstice.
~Merriam-Webster online dictionary

Okay. Now that I have confirmed my suspicions on the definition of the season of the year that I thought we were in, I have to surmise one thing..... I have slept through the entire year of 2003 and have woken up in February 2004!

You do not believe me? If you live on Long Island, just look out your window, or better yet, step outside your door. What do you see? Snow! What did I spend close to two hours doing? Shoveling snow! Yes, snow! Four inches deep! In April! Or so I thought it was April.

I thought we had celebrated my husband’s birthday yesterday. My husband’s birthday is April 6th to be exact! I remember having a wonderful time with guests over for dinner on Saturday and Sunday. I must have had a wonderful time celebrating. Strange thing is, I do not remember having any alcoholic drink! But I must have slept through 2003. Can you give me another reason why we would have a blizzard in spring? February is the blizzard month!

My husband must have known this was going to happen because he conveniently left this morning to visit his parents in Florida. Yes, I said Florida! Boy, anything to get out from shoveling snow again!

Someone, please wake me up in spring! I am going back to bed. I just looked out the window again and it is still snowing! Sigh!

“We need spring. We need it desperately and, usually, we need it before God is willing to give it to us."
~Peter Gzowski

 
Sunday, March 30th was a very long day. It started very early for us and the rest of the team of Tae Kwon Do competitors, coaches, and family members from Michael Pam’s US Tae Kwon Do school. We all met at the Sayville school at six o’clock in the morning as previously agreed to. The plan was for us to follow each other, caravan style, and make the three-hour trip to the site of a big tournament in Waterford, Connecticut. My daughter was going to compete in forms and sparring in the green belt division. This was her second tournament.

Unlike the first tournament she went to back in November, this tournament was well organized and the skill level of the competitors was high. My daughter came in fourth place for forms and was doubting she would get a medal for sparring. The other competitors seemed stronger and taller. Matt, her dear friend and a skilled black belt, won a bronze medal in sparring. The competition was tough.

While we waited for my daughter’s turn to spar, the female black belts were competing directly in front of us. Ralph, Matt’s dad, and I were watching them when all of a sudden a girl did a back kick and hit her opponent in the face. The girl, 14, had her nose broken. Blood was profusely dripping from her nose. Exactly what I needed to see minutes before my daughter was to compete! How to tell her, without making her even more nervous, to guard her face because of what happened just thirty feet away?

My daughter won a silver medal for sparring; no broken bones, no blood, just one very sweaty teen. That was not the case for another male competitor who was carried away with a dislocated kneecap after he received one kick.

There’s always a risk of injury no matter what sport you practice, but the hope is that it never happens to you or your precious child. I know this. My husband knows this. My daughter knows this. It is a risk we are all willing to deal with because she loves this sport. She loves all types of sports, but I cannot tell her to stay home. I dislocated my wrist while ice-skating when I was thirteen. I fell on the ski slopes more times than I care to remember. So, no, I cannot tell my daughter to bury her rollerblades or her skateboard, and when she goes skiing, I will cover my eyes as she zooms down the expert trails.

We made it back to Long Island at 11:30pm. We were all very tired; tired, but proud. Almost everyone from the school won a medal that day. There is another big tournament in June. Her friend, Jessie, who won a silver medal for sparring in the poom division, will be going. Matt, I know for sure, will be going. My daughter wants to go. We will drive her there, caravan style, again.

“Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The ‘sure thing’ boat never gets far from shore.”
~Dale Carnegie

 
BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think.
~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Sometimes a thought just gets into my head or something happens that makes me go, “Hmmmm!”

So I’m putting laundry away and see a pair of my daughter’s socks. They both have holes in them! Garbage! Then I wonder, does anyone darn socks anymore? Will my young readers know that “darn” is something other than a mild euphemism? Hmmmm.

One day my daughter was playing cards and one fell out of her hands. It landed on its edge right between the space of the wood floor! Had she wanted to do that on purpose would it have happened? Hmmmm.

I’m sleeping and dreaming, dreaming that I need to go to the bathroom. I’m using different restrooms but I still have the feeling that I need to go, no matter how many restrooms I go to. Then I wake up really having to use the restroom. Am I the only one dreaming such things? Hmmmm!

I know I’m not the only one to whom this happens but, why do I find things I am not looking for when I do not need them but cannot find something when I do need it? And when I find the thing I was not looking for at the time I did not need it, but days later I do need it, where is it? Hmmmm!

It happens all the time I start to wash dishes; my hands are wet and soapy and all of a sudden my nose starts to itch! Allergies? Someone’s idea of a practical joke? A spell? A sign that I should tell my husband to do the dishes? Hmmmm!

I was chopping onions one day and the knife slipped out of my hand and fell. It landed with its tip embedded on the floor ...right next to my bare foot! I believe things happen for a reason but the point of this was? (Pardon the pun!) Hmmmm!

“No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical.”
~Niels (Henrik David) Bohr

 
I only know one song that the Dixie Chicks sing and I don’t like it that much: Landslide. As a matter of fact, when it plays on the radio I switch stations. However, that is my choice. “I” don’t like the song so “I” decide to listen to another station. I would not want for the radio station to make that choice for me and at this moment I am glad I don’t live in Texas.

So the Dixie Chicks stated “an opinion,” in a concert in London, that they were ashamed that our president was from Texas. After that comment from the female group, many radio stations in the Lone Star state decided not to play any more of the Dixie Chicks’ music! It seems that in Texas you are not allowed to be anti-Bush.

The irony seems to escape these people! How is banning a group’s music because you are offended by their comment, in a country that is supposed to encourage free speech, different than, say, a dictator saying no one is allowed to oppose his way of thinking? Dissent being unpatriotic is exactly what Hussein is all about and the reason we are there! That comment against Saddam would have resulted in death. In Texas? When did Texas become its own country and abolish the First Amendment?

I have a couple of friends that are Bush fans. I am not one and I opposed this country attacking Iraq. With one of them I know not to talk politics, with the other we have great talks and yet we never get riled up or feel offended. However, I seriously doubt that my friendship with these people depends on how many anti-Bush comments I can chalk up or keep to myself.

Had the radio stations not played the Dixie Chicks music from the beginning would have been “free speech” but to ban the music for a political comment made is not. This is my blog and this is my opinion!

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
~Theodore Roosevelt

 
My daughter is very lucky. She has many friends and they are all wonderful people. I care for all of them, but she has one friend that is her special best friend, Alicia. Alicia is the sweetest, most loving, and caring friend and I love her very much, so much that I consider her my second daughter.

They met when they were six years old and in first grade. They have been very close since and their friendship deepens year after year. Alicia has the most wonderful sense of humor. She brightens up the room when she enters it with her contagious smile. She is also my daughter’s most bouncy friend. Yes, Alicia can be very hyper. She is my Tigger. That is who she is and how she is loved.

I cannot write about special memories and not have plenty of stories of my other daughter. I will start with the famous “Jello” story.

I used to take care of her after school. I would let the girls have a snack that would not interfere with dinner. I thought Jello was a safe snack so I decided to buy some because I could not make it in time for when she got home from school. I bought every child’s favorite... cherry.

I should have realized that with Alicia safe is relative, and Jello is also a..... toy! Why did I give her a spoon? Eating Jello with their fingers must have been funny because my girls were having a wonderful time laughing and bouncing on the chairs. I also learned that day that Jello is stubborn. It refused to stay in the container and refused to be eaten by her. It kept falling on the table. It fell on the chair. It fell onto her clothes. It fell on the floor.

The next day I noticed specks of red on my white walls. What was that? A closer look proved to be.... Jello. That spunky, wiggly dessert found its way onto the wall!

A week later, the light was flickering. I looked up to give it the evil eye. What was that mark next to the light fixture? On the ceiling? No! Could it be? Yes, yes it was.

Last month Alicia told me, “You know, I've noticed that you haven’t served me Jello ever since I was seven.”

Sweetie, next time you come over the Jello will be waiting. You can paint my ceiling in specks of red anytime!

“...... and it suddenly turned into Tigger; a Friendly Tigger, a Grand Tigger, a Large and Helpful Tigger, a Tigger who bounced, if he bounced at all, in just the beautiful way a Tigger ought to bounce.”
~The House at Pooh Corner

 
There was a nip in the air this morning when I drove my husband to the train station. I am not complaining. It is just that we had beautiful spring weather this week and I liked it. So I was wondering what happened to spring? It came and the warm breezes seemed to kiss me and embrace me, and like a greedy lover I want more!

Don’t get me wrong, I love winter. I love coming home after being out in the cold. I love the warmth and coziness of blankets and the idea of hearty meals you can only have in winter, like stews. But this winter was exceedingly cold and snowy. We mostly had temperatures in the teens and single digits. We had a lot of snow, which I love, but it had been so much for our part of the world that it was lingering even after the warm temperatures of this past week. As a matter of fact, it has been so cold I thought I saw polar bears wondering the streets of Long Island! A beluga and a narwhal whale were swimming in our pool! Honest! It was that cold this season!

So, yes, I am ready for warmer weather. I am ready for verdure. I am ready for daffodils and lilies and the fragrance of flowering gardens. I am ready for the gentle breezes to blow my curtains through open windows. I am ready for the first mowing of the lawn and the smell of freshly cut grass. I am ready for the smell of cement when it gets wet from the sprinklers. I am ready to wear only a light sweater. I am ready to start grilling. And yes, I am ready to start swatting pesky mosquitoes!

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly, "One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."
~Hans Christian Andersen

 
Some of the most amazing moments in my life have involved birds. Something as simple as going with my daughter and feeding ducks to scenes that I can never forget and have left me with awe.

One of those times was when we were living in Australia. Our friends invited us to go for a drive along the Great Ocean Road in Victoria. The views from this curvaceous road were amazing. My daughter, just turned one, was getting motion sickness so we pulled over at an over-look area. I couldn’t believe the beautiful sight. We were looking over some forest area. All of a sudden my little girl points towards the trees and I look up in time to see a flock of cockatoos in flight. There were a couple dozen white beings with yellow crested heads flying across the horizon. I could not believe that we were in Australia to begin with and then this! Amazing!

Another moment was here in the United States, in Ohio, to be exact. My daughter, ten at this time, was (still is) into birds of prey. While living in Indiana, we were told of a pair of nesting bald eagles in a small town in Ohio called Florida, just outside another small town called Defiance. We drove the hour from Fort Wayne to Defiance and drove to the area were the nest was. It wasn’t hard to find because there were about four other cars parked and the people were standing around looking towards a tree and pointing. There it was! The largest nest I have ever seen! And on it were the two bald eagles! We weren’t there more than five minutes when the male took flight and circled the nest. Wow! To see my daughter’s favorite raptor was an incredible feeling! We kept watching the male until he was out of sight and then we looked at the nest. The female was there with her two fledglings! What a blessing! Amazing!

A funny moment with a bird involved a seagull. We were at a beach barbecue with some friends. As many of you know, these birds have a keen sense of knowing where there is food and the beach is a great place for them to find something to eat. Well, this time was no exception.

Our friend Ricky was grilling salmon steaks on one side of the grill and hotdogs on the other. He turned his back to the grill for one second and down swoops a gull and carries away a hotdog! All the kids were laughing. Ricky shoos the gulls away and turns his back on the grill once more. Down flies the same gull and this time swipes a salmon steak! Now the adults join in the laughter. But are we laughing at the gull’s cleverness or at Ricky’s misfortune! Amazing!

I have plenty of memories involving birds. From watching a bluejay mom teach her young one to fly in our backyard, to actually seeing a kestral attack a sparrow in mid-flight, to having a Northern flicker wake us up at four in the morning with his “brrrrrrrrrp brrrrrrrrrrrrp, brrrrrrrrrrrrp,” and putting indentations on the vinyl siding of our house.

I love birds. We have two as pets, a cockatiel, Guy, and a canary, Wu. Our backyard is home to cardinals, a woodpecker, bluejays, nuthatches, mourning doves, chicadees, and others. Soon we will have the robins eating worms from our lawn. I look forward to seeing them, especially after a very cold, snowy winter.

Now if someone can let me know if flicker induced holes in vinyl are covered under our home insurance policy!

“I hope you love birds too. It is economical. It saves going to heaven.”
~Emily Dickinson

 
Yesterday I decided to sleep in late so I got up at eight in the morning. I took an extra long shower in very warm water. I decided to let my daughter sleep late. She woke up at 9:30. There was no rush to start our day. I had decided it would be like that.

At 2pm I drove her to her music lessons, one hour of piano and one hour of flute. At 4pm I picked her up and drove her to her Tae Kwon Do school where she helped the instructor until 8pm and then took her lesson.

While she was at TKD I went to buy toothpaste, tissues, and cold medicine.

At 9:15 my daughter came home and had a small dinner. She proceeded to get on the computer to "Instant Message" with her friends. She also wrote a couple of lines of her story.

I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday and we chatted for close to an hour.

At 11pm we were all in bed. I opened the book I’m reading, Twenty Years After, the sequel to The Three Musketeers and read for an hour.

At midnight, as when I woke up, I said a prayer for the innocent people in Iraq and apologized for what our country is doing to them and their country.

See, for us, there was no interruption of our daily lives.

“One is left with the horrible feeling now that war settles nothing; that to win a war is as disastrous as to lose one.”
~Agatha Christie

 
A while back, I can’t remember exactly when, my mother was feeling a little blue. She was reminiscing about the time we were all little girls. Her thoughts wandered to a time when she loved making our clothing, cooking for us, taking us to the park or the beach, and just taking care of us. She was so nostalgic and soon a couple of tears rolled down her cheeks. She made me wish I could turn back time just for her. My sisters and I love our lives and she is happy for us, but one of us is in Texas, another in upstate New York, two hours away from me, in Long Island. I couldn’t help thinking that day how orca whales always have their offspring with them... for life.

So I thought and wished, with love only, that in her next life she could come back as an orca whale. And that is how I started the “next life” wishes. Here are some I have thought of. I will write about other people in my life as they come up.

~My mother: As I mentioned, an orca, for the reasons stated above.

~My husband: A platypus. It is his favorite animal and I believe he is as silly and remarkable as this Australian monotrene, an egg laying mammal. (there are only two in the world, the other being the Echidna, also Australian.)

~Louie, my brother-in-law (my husband’s brother): A seahorse. He is a wonderful father dedicated to his two girls. I believe he is more of a mother to them than their mother. The girls want to be with him and it is a great thing he has custody of them. I wish for him to give birth to his young which the male seahorse does.

~Connie, my sister: An African termite. She has a great love of children and would have had as many as she could have. These termites give birth to 30,000,000 “babies” a year and also play an important ecological role, recycling nutrients from dead wood and improving soil fertility. She would be a great mother to them all!

I would like to take this opportunity today to wish her a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

~David, my nephew: A cheetah. When he was younger, he imagined he could run as fast as a cheetah, the fastest land animal in the world. (A peregrine falcon is faster reaching speeds of 200 miles an hour diving or stooping.) I can hear him now: “Nyah, nyah, you can’t catch me.”

~Diane, my niece: An American Pit Bull Terrier. She loves dogs and especially loves these. She knows how to care for them and knows they really are misunderstood and can be a good family pet. But I’d like her to be a bull terrier in a home with someone who cares and loves them as much as she does. Please visit her and her husband’s website: Canine-Comrade, Inc.

~Daniel and Angela: Siamese kittens. These two siblings are so close. They have so much energy and are extremely playful. I cannot see them separated in the next life so in my wish they won’t be. They can be as naughty, playful, and adorable as Siamese kittens.

"God generates beings, and sends them back over and over again, till they return to Him."
~Koran

 
Today I will write about some of my friends.

Liz: I’ll start with her, not for any particular reason except that she may pout if she is not the first I mention.

We personally met Liz at the Star Wars convention in Indianapolis last May. My daughter had already met her on the internet, like I mentioned in yesterday’s blog. We were to recognize her by her short, blond hair and a red top she was wearing. Yup, that narrowed it down to a few thousand! We were to find out about her hilarious, quirky sense of humor as we got to know her. Her personality is as sunny as her hair color. We all took to her instantly so we invited her to visit us in New York.

She stayed with us for three weeks and we had the best time getting to know her while she got to tour the city. She is an ardent musical lover and got to see a few Broadway shows. We accompanied her and saw the Lion King and Thoroughly Modern Millie in one week. She saw others. She kept us laughing with her way of being and would spontaneously entertain us singing songs with her lovely voice. I don’t know her parents personally, but I can say that “my Jim and Judy” are the nicest people I have not met... yet! No wonder Liz is such a great person!

Liz enjoyed New York and toyed with the idea of moving here but, alas, she went back to her home in itty, bitty, Muncie, Indiana.

McCourts: The other day, Friday the 14th, to be exact, my husband and I received a sad e-mail. Our dear friends, the McCourt’s, are selling their home and moving to Florida. While we are happy for them, we are sad because they are a part of our lives and we will miss having them within a 20 minute driving distance. Looking on the bright side of this situation, maybe we can vacation with them in the future and spend another memorable holiday season with them. I usually host Thanksgiving dinner but this past year I opted not to and accepted the McCourt’s invitation to spend Thanksgiving and a traditional Italian fish dinner on Christmas Eve with them. Annette is of Italian descent, in case you were wondering about the last name. I am so glad to have done so. We had one of the most wonderful times with them. I will miss our barbecue dinners and our brunches. I will miss John’s wonderful sense of humor and Annette’s tenderness and kindness.

Maria: She and I met because our daughters (only children, as a matter of fact) became friends when they were attending the same pre-school when they were both three years old. Our daughters are best friends and my husband and I are close friends with her and her husband, John. We have wonderful times just talking about everything. We share the same political views which make for great conversations. Her father is also a wonderful friend. We have seen our daughters grow from being adorable little pre-schoolers to fantastic thirteen year old girls. We have not missed any of our girls’ birthday parties. Maria, John, and Teresa are wonderful people and we are lucky to know them and count them as our dear friends. God willing, we will attend our girls’ graduations, weddings, and the baptism of their children.

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”
~Anonymous

 
If you ask my “Princess Leia” what the highlight of her life has been so far, she will probably say it was meeting Anthony Daniels, C3P0, in person, twice, but especially in Indiana. I have a picture of him with my daughter taken at the Brooklyn Museum of Art, and another taken at the Star Wars convention in Indianapolis.

The trip to Indianapolis was wonderful. My daughter was not told of the trip until the day we were to leave. She had to play her flute for a judge that same day and we felt that had she known in advance, she would not have performed well out of sheer excitedness. My niece was with us and my daughter believed she was there for moral support since she had experience performing at NYSSMA, (New York State School Music Association). This was my daughter’s first time. While they were gone, I packed the car. My niece had known of the trip for months. How she did not burst from not telling is beyond explanation. When my daughter was told, and after she stopped crying, we all scrambled into the car, zeroed the odometer, put on the Star Wars soundtrack, noted the time, off we went.

The level of euphoria from the back seat was contagious, a natural high. Armed with printed schedules of the activities to be enjoyed at the convention, the girls were planning how we would make the most of our three days there. They were properly dressed with their Star Wars T-shirts, caps, and lightsabers. What self-respecting Jedi would leave home without one?

I had prepared sandwiches and drinks, plus we had bags of chips that had Star Wars characters on them; we also had yogurt packaged in glow-in-the-dark tubes made to resemble a lightsaber. The only thing missing to complete this most healthy fare was blue milk from Tatooine.

My husband did not want to make the twelve-hour trip to Indianapolis all at once so we stopped overnight in Ohio. It was easy getting the girls up early the next day considering they could hardly sleep with excitement.

Our road trip continued. The girls kept a diary of the mileage, the times we stopped and where, and the cities and towns we drove through. We drove through six states. They kept busy by reciting the movies; singing along to both Weird Al’s spoofs of the movies and my husband’s parody of NSync’s “It’s Gonna Be Me.” They were practicing their “Ewokese” and “Klingon”... oh, wait... wrong movie!

They were also very excited because they were going to meet a couple of friends that they made on a Star Wars site that were also going to the convention. They could not have been any more excited had they been set loose in a toy store/candy store and told to choose anything they wanted for free.

Being at the convention, after waiting hours on line in order to get into the center, was thrilling. Many people went in costume. It was impossible to see and do everything, but we managed to see and do most of it. The line to buy the special “convention only” Jorg Sacul figure would make any Disney visitor cringe in fear. We managed to get ours after a three-hour wait. Yes, it was worth it. Everyone was in high spirits and many friendships were made just by waiting on line with fellow Star Wars fanatics.

The concert by the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra was incredible. It was amazing to listen to the Star Wars music live! There was a show, “The Star Wars Trilogy in 30 Minutes,” that was hilarious and superbly done. The words of the movies weren’t changed but the pace and how it was performed was superb!

We did not get to see Carrie Fisher but we did have the honor of seeing Anthony Daniels again. He decided to walk up and down the line of people waiting to get inside. What a wonderful, funny guy!

We left Indianapolis with dozens of pictures, souvenirs, and memories. We even met one of the girls’ internet friends and made a lifetime friend in Liz, whom I have since “adopted” as my daughter.

The trip back home was just as exciting. The girls had even more to talk about. My daughter started to write a Star Wars book. By the time we arrived home, she had written fifteen pages of which she has 87 pages to date. What a way to end a wonderful five-day adventure!

“The world is a book, and those who do not travel, read only a page.”
~Saint Augustine

 
One day, when I was 14, I found a four-leaf clover. Wow! How lucky could I be? How much luckier would I get? I gently plucked it and carefully carried it home, not taking my eyes off it. I didn’t trip or fall so its luckiness must’ve been working, I thought. I arrived home safely. I gently placed it on a tissue and neatly folded it. I placed it in a safe place; under my lamp on my night stand. The next day it was going to be pressed and framed.

All excited, in the morning, I took the tissue and carefully opened it. Empty! No four-leaf clover! Only a tiny bit of soil from the roots! Humph! Some lucky clover! Was the lucky part finding it in the first place?

I hadn’t given that clover a second thought until today, it being St. Patrick’s Day. But as I write this, I can’t help believing how lucky my life has been. I have a wonderful husband and a precious daughter. I have the respect of those friends whom I love and respect in turn. The nice home and endless photographs of my travels pale with knowing everyone I care about and love is safe. I have a deep faith and trust in God. Oh, wait....

I haven’t found another one since. Four-leaf clovers? Who needs them?

“Good luck is often with the man who doesn't include it in his plans.”
~Anonymous

 
I have a picture of my husband from our wedding day. He is all decked out in a handsome looking black tuxedo, shiny new shoes, and a black cape looking so... like Darth Vader! He actually put on a mask he owned. He didn’t wear it to the church or to the reception, but I wish he had. It would’ve added one more charming detail to an already perfect, perfect day.

My husband has been a Star Wars fan since ‘77. We would watch the movies and he would recite the scripts word for word. He was such a big fan, of the first two movies to be precise, that I suggested that if we ever had any children we could name them Luke or Leia.

Now my daughter, not named Leia, much to her chagrin, is an avid Star Wars fan as well. She calls herself Leia and her friends do too. She left her dad in the dust in her knowledge of all things Star Wars! She can also recite the movie scripts verbatim. For years my husband had been trying to get her to enjoy the movies but it wasn’t until 1999 that she finally became a convert when my niece, Cristina, gave her a Star Wars book to read. Her world now is the Star Wars universe. She has a myriad of toys and figurines. Her bedroom could pass for a mini Star Wars museum. She has read about 85 of the books and is also on the last chapters of a book she is writing; Star Wars, of course.

I enjoy the movies but am not obsessed with them, but the memories because of the saga are some of my favorites. I have enjoyed watching my husband and daughter play with the figures, making up the story as they went along, the soundtrack playing in the background. When she giggled and laughed along with her dad, I engraved the moments in my heart. I love listening to them have discussions about everything Star Wars. I love watching them sit next to each other and play video games. I love listening to her play the music on her instruments.

The wealth and fame of the movies have probably exceeded George Lucas’ wildest imaginations. What he didn’t know was how his creation would affect many people. So to Mr. Lucas I say, thanks for all the memories!

“The Force will be with you.... always!”
~Obi-Wan Kenobi, A New Hope

 
peeve, n.
1. A vexation; a grievance or source of aggravation
2. A resentful mood.

I haven’t had one of those “I’m gonna scream my head off!” moments in a while, mostly because I don’t watch television and I don’t get to hear our president talk. My peeves are few, but the ones I have make me want to scream my head off or better yet, scream until someone’s head falls off.

Have you ever walked into a movie theater and sat down only to have someone come and sit right NEXT to you? It’s not like there aren’t any more seats available! For crying out loud, the theater is 90% empty! Argh!

When I see people flinging cigarette butts out of their car window or tossing empty gum wrappers on the floor, I want to zap them into oblivion. What is that all about? Do these minuscule pieces of garbage really weigh too much to carry to the nearest trash can? Argh!

Commercials. Enough said. Then people wonder why our family doesn’t watch television. We won’t even go near the topic of the quality of shows. Argh!

People who chew gum with their mouths open annoy me. Do we really need to see and hear them? Maybe Singapore has the right idea by outlawing gum. Argh!

My next peeve will probably bother my dear friend, Liz, because she actually likes Bush. The way I feel about our (cough, cough) leader is separate from my feelings about her. I will end this peeve by noting a few “Bushisms” as my ending quotes. Dubya! Argh!

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well."
~Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2001

"I think the American people — I hope the American — I don't think, let me — I hope the American people trust me."
~Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002

"I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure."
~January 23, 2001

"It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, and incumbency."
~June 14, 2001

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.”
~Albert Einstein

 
I was just wondering..... When is Mel Gibson going to realize that he is madly in love with me and come to me? He is so lucky I am a very patient person.

Come to think of it, when are the following going to admit to being in love with me too: Andy Garcia; Tyler Florence; Bill Pullman; Jon Bon Jovi; and Ralph Fiennes.

"I am extraordinarily patient provided I get my own way in the end."
~Margaret Thatcher

 
Today I will continue and introduce the rest of my nieces and nephews; again, in age order from the oldest to the youngest. I will mention here that my sister, Connie, owns 50% of my nieces and nephews. I have three sisters, two of them have a boy and girl each; Connie has two of each.... fifty percent! I like to tease her about it. She knows I refer to her kids as the “gaggle”. She also knows I love them very much.
Julie is the mother of the two oldest kids, Diane and Reynaldo. Connie is the mother of Cristina, David, Willie, and Emily. Phew! Bertha is the mother of Daniel and Angela. Like I said, I love them all!

David: The words to describe him would be helpful and caring. He proved himself to be a gallant young man a couple of months ago. His sister, Cristina, was in very hot water with their mom (I must admit that part of it was my fault, but that is another story) and was grounded from using the computer indefinitely, a very big deal when you’re a teen. Knight-in-shining-armor David to the rescue! Now, I have to say, I personally didn’t witness this but everyone has confirmed its validity and I must tell the story. David approached his mother and advocated for his sister, thereby gaining her a pardon and the prized computer/internet privileges. This was very gallant and admirable in my eyes for he could have said nothing. The punishment would not have affected him in any way. Way to go, Dave!

Daniel: Happy-go-lucky little boy. Always has an impish smile and a gleam in his eyes. This story was told to me by my sister and is one to cherish.
My sister related that while she was in her bedroom, Daniel, seven at the time, ran in and explained that he knew when we, the world, were going to die. Knowing Daniel, she simply rolled her eyes but he was insistent. She stopped what she was doing to follow him into his bedroom for the proof of his reasoning.....the calendar. He turned the pages to December and pointed to the 31st.
“See, Mom, the last day! No more days after that. After that we will die.” When my sister told me this, it took a few minutes for me to stop laughing.

Angela: This little girl, with a heart of gold for everyone, especially her brother, will be a different child when Daniel starts dating. Daniel has been her playmate since she was born and they are very close. She loves him dearly and I have seen how she has suffered watching him play with someone other than herself. The time I’m thinking about was when all the cousins were at my house for a summer. Daniel, as well as all the other kids, was playing outside and having a great time. Angela sat inside, on the staircase, looking so forlorn, refusing to join in the play because Daniel was playing with Willie.

Looking into my crystal ball I can see that any girls Daniel dates will probably pass inspection with his parents. Angela’s inspection? Good luck, Daniel!

Willie: I didn’t have too much luck with the three youngest children of my sister, Connie, in that they did not want anyone looking at them, much less carrying them. Willie was no exception. Here was this adorable pudgy little baby that needed for me to hold and kiss him but I had no such luck. Until he was two and one-half! That was a memorable day for me.

I met my sister at the Museum of Natural History in the city. She with her gaggle, I with my Limited Edition. Willie was fascinated by the dinosaur bones as long as he was a very safe distance from them, and everyone else.

The timing must’ve been written in the stars because he was alone in his stroller as the other kids were viewing the bones from the second floor mezzanine. Willie wanted to see them as well so I cautiously approached him. When he didn’t cry, I reached for him. To my surprise, he raised his arms so I could pick him up! Wow! Not only did he let me carry him and talk to him, he didn’t even say a word when I planted a big smooch on his pudgy cheek!

Emily: She is definitely a little lady well aware of how much she is loved. My favorite moments with her are when her family stays at my house. I love when she asks me to feed her “beksis” (breakfast) or when she wants to help clean the canary’s cage. But I cherish the moments that she spends time standing on the sofa while my husband sits there and she grooms him with her play scissors and brush. To me she is Emi-ly, who is only one plus three!

“Children are living jewels dropped unsustained from heaven.”
~ Robert Pollok

 
This is my blog and I want to write about a Christmas story in the middle of March. I think we are always ready for a good Christmas story so here goes...

Once upon a time there was this adorable, dimpled, little four-year old girl. Her mother needed paper good supplies and off they went to K-Mart. At that time of year, even K-Mart was festive in all the red, green, and gold of the holiday season. Holiday lawn ornaments were neatly displayed in order to entice the shopper to imagine how lovely the fixtures would look in their yards and hopefully purchase them.
After selecting the items for purchase, the girl and her mother waited on line. Without saying a word, the little girl walked away from her mother towards the nativity sets. The mother, not wanting to lose her place on line decided that she’d keep an eye on her daughter. The other people on line all looked towards her as well. The little girl skipped over to the Christ child and knelt in front of it. She put her little hands together and bowed her little head. The mother looked on at her with a knot forming in her throat. The lady behind her had a tear running down her cheek. The other customers bowed their heads as well. Those that were passing by stopped and bowed their heads as well.

After a couple of minutes, the little girl got up, skipped back to her mother and proudly announced that she had prayed to baby Jesus. She then hugged her mother. The mother, speechless, as were the rest of the people, just hugged her daughter in return.

On that day, even if for a moment, the innocence of a little four-year old girl reminded those of us lucky enough to witness this event, the true meaning of Christmas.

“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”
~Hamilton Wright Mabi

 
Want to know what makes me feel old? I’ll tell you... Drew Barrymore, and For Better or For Worse, the comic strip. Celebrating another birthday every year and seeing my daughter growing into a lovely young teen hasn’t done it quite as those two.

Imagine going to the movies twenty years ago and seeing E.T. There she is, cute little Drew Barrymore making us laugh when she screams upon seeing ET. Fast forward a few years and there she is, getting married in The Wedding Singer! Hold on now!!! Not that much time has passed, has it? Even though I have a thirteen year old daughter?

I’ve been reading the comics since I was a little girl. Peanuts, Blondie, Family Circus, etc. The characters are the same ages now as when I was reading them as a girl. But along comes Lynn Johnston and her strip, For Better or For Worse. I first started reading it when the Patterson’s children, Michael and Elizabeth, were small kids. Now Elizabeth is in college and Michael is a father! Sigh!

Today, I share my love of comics with my daughter and one day she will remember that April Patterson and she are only ten months apart. She’ll probably realize how time has passed when April is having a child of her own. Drew Barrymore will shock her in the same way my generation is shocked that the Von Trapp children are in their sixties today!

I’m really not complaining. I have had a great life so far and am blessed with a loving family. My daughter keeps me feeling young and young at heart. And hey, I still enjoy reading the comics!

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."
~ Mark Twain

 
I had my first potluck party on Saturday. It was a party for no specific reason except to enjoy the company of dear friends. Everyone brought a dish and all the food was delicious! I had a bit of everything. Ralph outdid himself with the trifle! Not to mention his Waldorf salad... and pasta dish! Oh, yum! Gordon and Christina’s jambalaya was out of this world! Lani’s vegetarian pasta was excellent! Maria’s Hawaiian chicken was absolutely delish! My mother’s chicken and mushroom dish is a favorite of mine. Danielle’s and Pete’s contribution, stuffed cabbage, her grandmother’s recipe, was so tasty! Angela’s broccoli bake and Jeannette's sweet and sour chicken.... I gotta get those recipes!

All the food and drink were great, but the company of over 40 friends was the highlight of the evening. A couple of friends arrived after dinner was enjoyed but the point was that they made it! Can we ask for more? Some friends were unable to attend due to the fact that they live in another state, like Indiana and Texas. Another friend, Mark, was interviewing schools in California for his doctorate.

We all had a great time. We have to do this again soon. With all of the leftover food we could have a couple more parties!

“I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.”
~Nancie J. Carmody

 
Who’da thunk it! I still can’t believe it! I am still in shock! Why? Well, tonight Carlos is going to a Knicks game at Madison Square Garden! Shocking!

Carlos was in the city today when his best friend, Ricky, called to invite him to the game. I told Ricky he should call him on the cell phone. Then I wished him good luck because I didn’t think Carlos would accept the invitation. Later, Carlos called me to say he would go to the game tonight. Imagine my shock and surprise!

I would love to be able to see what he is going to do at the game. Unfortunately, he has a backpack full of new tech books he just got today. From past experience with Carlos and professional sports, the game loses. The last time he was at a game was about 16 years ago when we went to a Yankees game. We were sitting four rows behind the Yankees’ dugout and it was thrilling being there so close to the players. But did my husband even notice? No! He was very engrossed in his book.

Same thing happened at a Mets game. The score thus far: Books-2, Games-0.

"There are really only two plays; Romeo and Juliet, and, Put the darn ball in the basket."
~ Abe Lemons

 
If it is 11pm on a Sunday and you want to go to bed, don’t ask Carlos about Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, black holes, or time travel. Sorry, it won’t put you to sleep! Be prepared to listen to him explain how there really isn’t any pull or force of gravity but a warping, or curvature, of the spacetime fabric of space caused by the presence of matter. Huh?
My husband can lose track of time once he gets started on any topic of physics, genetics, or space science. He is like a little kid in a toy store; his eyes get this gleam. He speaks so animatedly and you’re transfixed, hooked. You even find yourself asking questions! By this time it’s probably 12am and you find out that this curvature affects the movement of matter through space, and we perceive this as gravity. This leads the talk to black holes and it is probably 12:30am. The last thing you want to know at this time of night....morning, is that black holes were once large stars that go through a supernova explosion then collapse and that they have so much concentrated mass that even light can’t escape it’s “gravitational pull”?

Wait a minute!!

But by this time it’s 1am and you’re tempted to ask one more question so you do.... Does anyone realize what time it is?

“I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.”
~ Albert Einstein

 
I have managed to distract my daughter, temporarily, I’m sure, from the Star Wars movies. I am quite thrilled, actually. She has now become a big fan of my favorite action adventure/comedy films, the Lethal Weapon movies!

It hasn’t been easy to get her to love movies I like since I prefer romantic comedies. Oh, she enjoys them and we do have “chick flick” times, but what I was looking for was for her to “want” to watch a favorite movie of mine and ask me to sit and watch them with her. I have succeeded!

“I’m getting too old for this s***!”
~Roger Murtaugh

 
Before I was ever a mother, I was an aunt, the next best thing. I had two nieces and one nephew, Diane, Rey, and Cris. I have four other nieces and nephews younger than my daughter. I love them all. Each has a special memory engraved in my heart which I will share with you. I’ll start with the ones older than my daughter, my side of the family....

Diane: She loves animals, especially dogs; always has. One day, for Halloween, when she was ten, I helped her with her costume. She was to be a wicked witch. I helped her with her makeup. When she was done, her face was all green complete with hairy warts, some teeth were blackened, her hair was gray and disheveled, and her dress was ragged. We went out and no sooner were we outside the building when a dog was approaching us. Diane, of course had to pet it. The poor dog took one look at her and ran into the middle of the street yelping. Diana ran after it, afraid it would be run over. I ran after her. The dog was still yelping and trying to outrun Diane.

It’s funny now but back then I couldn’t get Diane to stop crying and I couldn’t get my legs to stop shaking. I retouched her makeup and we continued our trick-or-treating. The dog made it safely across the street.

Rey: He is a sweet, kind, and gentle young man; always has been. I loved taking him with me everywhere. If people thought he was my son I would not correct them.

On one such occasion, we were walking in front of some construction workers having lunch. I held on to my three year old cutie and kept walking. The men started whistling and one shouted, “Mamacita!” Rey let my hand go, ran up to the man and with bravery scolded the man, “She is NOT your mamacita! She is my aunt!”

He is now the father of two beautiful girls. No doubt he will defend them forever as well.

Cristina: I call her “my present” because she was born on my birthday.

We knew my sister was due around the time of my birthday but my husband decided we could still spend the weekend in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, my favorite weekend spot. The first thing I did once we got there, after a four hour drive, was to call my sister and see how she was. No answer. Argh!

My husband suggested we call every hour but to enjoy our time there in the meantime. When he realized my heart was in New Jersey (where my sister lived at the time), Carlos suggested we call the hospital. Voilà! They had a Connie P. in the labor room. We got in the car and drove to New Jersey.

Visiting hours were over by the time we got there, sans flowers, but we did see her through the window. She was the most beautiful baby there. Of course! It was my birthday! I deserved it!

"Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future."
~Gail Lumet Buckley

 
On Valentine’s Day my daughter and I went to lunch with some friends; Ralph, Matt, and his girlfriend, Jen. Jen was telling us how she was asked for some ID in order to retrieve her purse that she had forgotten at a restaurant where they had dinner the night before . I thought to myself, “funny how things like that always happen to other people; certainly I would remember I had a purse and not leave it behind in a restaurant.”

Things like that only happen to other people.

Until they happen to me.

Not much to explain. Yesterday, five hours after enjoying a nice lunch at our favorite sushi restaurant, my husband and I had just pulled into the mall parking lot when I told him he had to head back, not home, but to the sushi restaurant. My purse, not being by my feet as is my custom, had to be at the sushi place.

I went into the restaurant and explained why I was there. The hostess just asked me if my purse was a brown one or a black one. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who had forgotten her purse at that restaurant that day.

Funny how things like that always happen to other people.

"There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory; the other two I forget. "
~Unknown

 
Everyone knows me as a ladybug collector. I don’t remember when that aspect of myself started. I only remember that I always liked them and I remember when I started loving them.

I worked in New York City before I became a mom. When you depend on public transportation to get you to work, you are subject to delays of all sorts even if you give yourself plenty of time. In other words, it’s always rush, rush, rush. On one particular day, the subways were running very late and I was running to the office. I was, of course, muttering some choice words as I tried not to bump into people who always seemed to know the exact moment to move in my path. All of a sudden I felt something hit my neck. I brushed it off and saw that a ladybug had “run” into me. I stopped. I oohed and aahed. Like a kid I was fascinated by it and counted its spots. I looked for a nearby tree and gently set it upon a sturdy branch. I said goodbye to it and ‘walked’ the rest of the way to work. I felt happy. I realized then that God had sent that ladybug to me as a way of telling me to relax and see the beauty of his world.

Now I’m known as a ladybug collector. I didn’t realize I was a ladybug collector until I started getting ladybug things as gifts from my friends and family for no special occasion. Actually, most of my items come from them. They are everywhere in my house. With the exception of my daughter’s bedroom, which is a shrine to Star Wars, there is a ladybug item somewhere in the house. The count is up to 246 ladybug items. I have a ladybug mug, ladybug soap dispenser, ladybug salt and pepper shakers, ladybug magnets, a collection of ladybug socks.... well, you get the picture... ladybug toilet seat cover. But what I treasure most is the thought that these people think enough of me to get me these things. Likewise, I think of them every time I see the things they lovingly gave me.

Yup! Ladybugs are a heavenly sign of all that is nice in this world. Now if I could only find a Han Solo with a ladybug ......

"Nature always tends to act in the simplest way."
~Bernoulli

 
Holding hands with my husband of almost 18 years comes naturally. We hold hands all the time. We hold hands when we walk anywhere; we hold hands while watching a movie at home; we hold hands in the car; we hold hands as we fall asleep. It’s not a habit, it’s real. So when my sister told me that her mother- in- law talked about us holding hands, I wanted to know the whole story.

Like I said, we hold hands and that’s what we were doing at my niece’s birthday party. Ok, now would be a good time for me to mention that I believe that God has a sense of humor. But, on with the story...

My sister called me over and told me that her mother-in-law just asked her how long Carlos and I have been married. In response to my sister’s question of ‘why’ her mother-in-law said, “Because no one still holds hands after being married for so long. I think the whole thing is a cover-up and he is cheating on her.” My sister and I had a good chuckle with that. She went to cut the cake, I went back to my husband and held his hand.

That was four years ago at my niece’s first birthday party. She will be five this year. Carlos and I have gone to all of her birthdays since. We have not seen her father since he moved out later that year. Earlier this year he married the woman with whom he had been having an affair. Carlos and I are still holding hands.

"There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God."
~Bill Cosby

 
I did not get to hold my baby girl the day she was born. An emergency C-section kept me asleep for twelve and one-half hours after her birth. I actually heard her before I ever saw or held her. I knew it was her. She started to cry as she was wheeled into my room. I had imagined what she'd look like many times. At 11:08 AM on June 23, 1989 I met my little angel, God's gift to my husband and me, as she was placed in my arms for the first time. Memory engraved permanently in my heart and soul.... and my arms, for I can still feel her warmth and smallness. I can still feel her smooth cheeks as I kissed my angel for the very first time...on her dimples, just as I had asked God to give her.

It has been thirteen years, eight months, and three days that I, or rather, we have been blessed with being able to love our precious gift.

"We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
I can remember many things from my past; my youth, my teen years, my early twenties.....many things. But I can only feel, as if it were yesterday, two main things; my first kiss and when the doctor's first put my little baby girl in my arms for the first time.
Now those of you who know me will be wondering why I didn't mention my husband, Carlos. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of wonderful memories of him. But those are other thoughts.
Let's start with the older memory:

Joseph. Joseph C. My first boyfriend when I was 13. (I won't mention his last name) I can picture him now, even when I don't have my eyes closed. I'm smiling. What I most remember is that he gave me my very first kiss.... on the lips. Sweet, tender, innocent. I can still feel his soft, warm lips on mine. No hug. Just a kiss. His hands were holding on to the stage curtain that he used to wrap us around in. So romantic. He kissed me once. Twice. Then he looked at me and I looked at him. His pale green eyes came closer and he kissed me a third time. By this time, I'm also holding on to the curtain for support; me not knowing if I could trust my legs to hold me up.
Sorry. I don't remember anything after that, but I'm still smiling....

"I can express no kinder sign of love, than this kind kiss"
Henry VI, Shakespeare