From ribbons and lace to.... a Master’s degree?

The flower girl at my wedding was only eighteen months. In less than four months she will turn twenty-one.

I want to let you know about this young woman. She is simply put, wonderful. Her sweet disposition has endeared her to everyone, even my sister in Texas who got to carry her throughout the reception at my wedding. We all fell in love with her petiteness, her calm manner, and her curly medium blond hair. At almost twenty-one she is still petite and still has curly medium blond hair.

You have to imagine Jessica, as a young girl, like a doll. Her mother always made sure she had pretty dresses or outfits with matching hairbows. She always was adorable, and because of her size, always being carried by someone.

We do not get to see her as often as when we lived nearby. She lives almost two hours from us. She is in college now, her junior year, still commuting every day from her home. We did get to visit with her last week for her father’s birthday. We had a great time as she filled us in to what is happening with her life.

How can I explain how we are in awe of her? Jessica is on a path to her life. A path that she has made for herself with hard work. She is on the right path. She is the perfect role model for her sister and for her cousins. In 2006 she will graduate with her Bachelor’s degree. In 2007 she will graduate with her Master’s degree. There is no doubt she will accomplish this, no doubt at all.

Was there any at some point? Yes, and she would be the first to agree. From fifth grade on her grades were not stellar. Though she strived to do better, she was an average student with average grades. Not until high school did she stop frustrating about her C average. We all knew how she did her best. She soon realized that not everyone was born to be an A student but it did not have to limit you. She struggled and gave it 100% but C was it; some B’s and an A in one class, but fight as she did, her overall average was a solid C. The teen angst was mild and caused minor grief to her father, all which will soon be forgotten because of how she has adopted to adulthood with maturity and savvy.

Then came college. Something slipped in place and she has raised her average to a B+ and has been accepted into the graduate program of her college. It was not easy for her. She says she still has to study twice as hard and twice as much as other students. Which is why we acknowledge her efforts and are proud of her. We would have been proud of her had she graduated with a C average! Now she is genuinely proud of herself, her effort, and her determination.

This young lady was not deterred from getting into the graduate program when told she needed a higher GPA. She is now taking classes that will allow her to get her Master’s degree one year earlier. She is also working four jobs. She is busy, very busy.

Jessica has been dating her boyfriend Jason for almost three years. The fact that they are still together is another sign of how she has the ability to handle many situations, including a relationship in which they only see each other on weekends. No one is even mentioning marriage because her goal is to finish her degrees first. Smart? You bet!

Whenever my sister (the one in Texas) calls, she always asks about Jessica. She is fond of her despite the fact she has seen her, at most, five times, and always for a couple of hours. She is happy to know that Jessica has grown up to be sensitive, caring, responsible, and still retains the spirit of youth. So are we.

There is something inspiring about a young person who can accept responsibilities, tough though they may be, and still can make you feel comfortable because they are genuinely happy. It comes from a feeling of a job that is being done well, I suppose.

“The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs.”
~Joan Didion

 
It’s Liza with a “z”, not Lisa with an “s”...

Like telling your child that Santa isn't real, or the Easter Bunny, or that the tooth fairy is just a story.... so was this moment between my precious little girl and myself....

L : Mom, how come my Spanish teacher has "pagrino and magrina" spelled different? She keeps spelling it "padrino and madrina", (godfather and godmother).

Me : (Almost with tears in my eyes and very shocked so I have to go up to her and kiss her sweet face) Aww, it's because that is how you have pronounced it since you were a little girl. They never wanted you to change it because it was cute and special to them but the correct words are "padrino and madrina", with a “d”, not a “g”.

I could not read the look on her face, partly because I was taken aback. Partly because I was busy imagining her correcting her teacher. But why was I caught off guard? Why... when it wasn't something to believe in like the Three Kings? After all, her "pagrino and magrina" are real. They are two people who love her dearly. Why did it cause me as much sadness as when we had to tell her the truth about Santa? Grant it, she took the Santa news better than I did, but nonetheless, tears formed in my eyes...both times.

I am somewhat sad. I know why. It is the last vestige of the memory of her childhood, in a way, that will not be the same. I held on to those words with love in the knowledge that they were words she created and she never realized it so it they never were corrected. She has always had this uncanny ability to know when she was mispronouncing words and would “fix” them without my correcting her. When she was in three-year-old preschool, her teacher was impressed with how clearly she enunciated. My mother was upset when she stopped calling her “aguita” (literal translation-little water) and one day correctly called her “abuelita” (Spanish for “grandma”). Going to the “sukermarket” quickly was “going to the supermarket”. Very early on “baba” was a clear-sounding “bottle”. She was not even one year old!

“Magrina and pagrino” is specific only to her relationship with her godparents and not even her cousins use that word with their godparents. She was isolated that way and no one, especially the godparents, wanted to correct her.

I am not this way only with my daughter. To this date I make “peanut chelly samiches” for lunch as my nephew Daniel used to say. The color yellow is still “lello” as my other nephew David pronounced it.

So now she knows the truth. Will she pronounce it the “proper” way. Not likely to her godparents. They will demand the endearing term. I am really not complaining. She is turning into a wonderful young lady. So if she calls her godmother “Magrina” with a “g” not “Madrina” with an “d” that will make two people happy... the godmother and me.

"The trick is growing up without growing old."
~ Casey Stengel