My husband does not keep a journal of any sort even though it would make for the most interesting reading. Even if he wrote down thoughts I would be riveted to the pages because if he wrote as lively and interestingly as he spoke, he would have a best-seller on his hands.

But he does not have one and it is a loss.

It was Father’s Day two days before our daughter turned fifteen years old. Her birthday is significant for her but for us as well as that is the day we became parents. Since my husband has never written down his feelings about being a father I will do it for him.

Ahem! Presenting my husband's thoughts through my point of view....

I was the first one to realize my wife was pregnant. For days she mentioned how her abdomen hurt like a bad menstrual cramp and how her breasts were so tender that she wanted to stop wearing a bra. She was so sure she had some kind of cancer. I realized she was pregnant despite her doctors mentioning how she could not have any children.

The liquid in the little vial turned blue signifying she was pregnant. It was confirmed to us that evening at her doctor’s office when he shook my hand and congratulated me on my soon-to-be-a-father status.

I did not think about the eighteen or twenty-one years of financial support this would mean. In fact, other than eating toast for dinner for a few weeks because my wife could not stand the smell of foods, the fact that we were pregnant did not phase me... not until I stood by her as she threw up every night for three months at precisely 7pm each night. Not even the sonogram picture of the baby phased me because it looked more like a baby lizard, (I will strongly attest that it was not from my side of the family!).

As the baby grew, I would stand behind her while she washed the dishes and hold and lift her pregnant belly up with my hands. I wanted to help somehow.

When our daughter was born by an emergency C-Section (breach with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck), I was the first one to see our beautiful baby girl as she was wheeled in the baby incubator. The next day I was also the first one to hold her in my arms. She was so tiny weighing only 7 lbs 5.5 oz and being 17in long. She had a teeny tuft of hair on top of her head. Wow! My baby! A girl! Not a lizard!

I was the first one to put her in her infant seat. I carried her into our home and put her in her crib. I was the first one to change her diapers. When she fell asleep in my arms I could not help it when the tears fell down my face. It was the most precious feeling of trust and I could not believe this beautiful baby was my little girl.

On a trip to Australia, when she was only ten months old, I realized I was a dad because only a dad would put his hands under her face seconds before she would throw up so she would not soil her pretty pink outfit.

Fast forward to this past Tuesday when she turned fifteen (because that is how it has seemed) . She still has the adorable eyes and dimples and still enjoys playing with me. I realize I do not get a chance to be home as much as I would like and I miss many things happening in her life, but she still wants me in her life. I enjoy tucking her at night and just talking about Harry Potter, Star Wars, X-Men, Gameboy, or her telling me about her day. I get to help her with her math and drive her to her Tae Kwon Do when I am home.

We share the same office and I may not show it, but I love having her there. I miss her terribly when I go away on trips. In three years she will be going off to college. I will be wishing I could be carrying her home from the hospital as a baby. I love the wonderful young lady she is turning into.

Next year she will begin to drive. In three years I will drive with her to the college of her choice. I will one day give her away in marriage. Maybe I will become a grandfather and babysit. I look forward to every stage in her life with a mixture of sadness and happiness. I know I am not alone.

If there is only one thing she can know about me is that I will always be there for her because I love her terribly. She will always be Daddy’s little girl.


"The first man a little girl falls in love with is her Dad."
~Unknown

 
There are things in life that are not illegal and should be. We have the obvious things such as illegal drug use, alcohol and cigarettes sold to minors, murder, or embezzlement. What I am talking about is something different that I'm sure many of you have experienced. In particular, what I am talking about is making a mother cry.

It should be illegal to make moms cry, especially when they are driving an automobile. The punishment should be doubled... no!... make that quadrupled! Yes! Quadrupled!

When a radio station, in this particular case it happened to be Long Island's WPLJ 95.5, plays a song that is notorious for making me cry... ok, ok... I admit... it makes me sob, that is unfair and should be illegal.

WPLJ did not play fair. They played Butterfly Kisses which by itself makes me.... sob, but did they have to make a Father's Day version? Not fair! Not fair at all!

The tears gushed and gushed so I could hardly see the Belt Parkway while driving my daughter to the New York Aquarium. The song was edited with an overlay of the voice of a little girl saying things like "Daddy, read me a story... please", "See the picture I drew? This is me and this is you", "Why is the sky blue?", "I'm getting sleepy. Will you tuck me in?". Throughout you hear little-girl laughter.

Then in the part where he sings about her Sweet 16, a teen girl's voice says things like "Dad, I passed! I got my license!", "Dad! I'm on the phone!" Then you hear a voice saying "Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the class of 2000!" Off to college she goes.

Then comes the "Daddy, I wanted to call you first. I got that job.", "Dad, I met the greatest guy. He reminds me so much of you", "This is the happiest day of my life". Church bells sound in the background. (sob.... still)

I have never been able to hear that song without the waterworks. Come to think of it, it seems I always hear the song while I'm driving!

Not fair. Not fair at all. Let me contact my congressman to start making it illegal to make me cry like that.

"With all that I've done wrong I must have done something right to deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses at night."
~Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle